I had such a difficult time during the last week because of the anxiety about elections in Iran and being away from it. I guess many of us Iranians were in the same situation of uncertainty about our tomorrow. I had a deep pain in my heart, because of all events that happened and arguments used against our movement in last four years, after the last presidential election in 2009. This pain was not because the result of that election was in favor of former President Ahmadinejad but in fact he was a mere product of a particular kind of detrimental thought that draws upon emotional inferences in logic of governance, which doesn’t have any red line in achieving its goal; which doesn’t care if what they say makes sense or not; and promote a thinking that there is nothing else on moral right in the world then them. After 2009 election, many young people were killed; everybody abused the movement of young people to improve their rank in the structure of power like abusing the ‘green movement’ was the key to access to more power.
During these years, not only nobody could convince us that there was no deception in 2009 elections, but year after year we were becoming firm in our belief about the serious problem caused in political functioning that year.
For four years, we spend the cost of our wisdom. We were killed, beaten, jailed just because we were asking a reliable answer for what happened in 2009 election. Mousavi, his wife and Karroubi are still in house arrest for more than two years only because they could not be silent against fake statistics and analysis of Ahmadinejad’s government; which are something that everybody is talking about it.
Many of us were not feeling any connection between ourselves and the regime. So, we had even considered the decision to ban the election as they did not allow Khatami and Hashemi Rafsanjani to nominate for the current election. It was clear, they would just offer some chosen candidates, and since we knew they cannot tolerate people decision to choose a desirable candidate, why should we vote? Why we should give legitimacy to the structure under which such an election was conducted, while it is just like a utility against west for the government rhetoric and it didn’t seem to have any other value in our eyes?
The story was the same. Khatami, the ex-president wasn’t nominated because of the heavy pressure on him, so he couldn’t even think about nomination; Hashemi Rafsanjani, the president before Khatami and who is the “live 1979 revolution” nominated but couldn’t pass the narrow filter of the Guardian Council. All these pre-election happenings were giving not even slightest hope to the people.
But, as we were getting close to the Election Day, a dispute was occurring among people over the social networking sites. Many people were supporting the right to vote despite of such unfavorable conditions. Maybe for the first time, instead of fighting, we were discussing and reasoning. All of us had the same pain. All of us knew the problem and the possibility of another deception might be awaiting us. Ultimately a unanimous decision was carved, we should vote to force the established power to see us; and force them to change the result if they want pull out name of their desired candidates, we won’t let it happen. So, we were not thinking about if our candidate will win or not; but about our strategy to force our collective decision.
The night before election, I had such a unique feeling; a mixed feeling of pain and hope. A broken glass of an old dirty window and a nice crescent at the end of a narrow lane was giving me a hope for a better future.
I woke up early in the morning today; checked my twitter on phone; it flashed, Roohani 49%; couldn’t stop crying for some minutes. It was like the thorn stuck in my throat for last four years, and it could come out to let me free. Not because Roohani is winning the election, but because of the interactions and mature decisions we took amongst ourselves as the new generation of Iran. For the first time I could feel we are grown up; we didn’t decide emotionally; and have understood a new way to resist and reform.
Roohani is so close to winning the election, with a significant difference from other candidates. But the real victory happened before election could even finish. Now not only we know what we are looking for, we also know the road that leads to our goal. Now, we won’t give up and nobody can force us to give up.
*Green was the color of pro Mousavi in 2009 election and violet is the color of pro Roohani in the current election